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I want to retire but I can’t do the math. I have no idea how long I expect to live, so how could I possibly know whether or not I have enough money to last me until I die?
Back in the day, retirement was simple — 65, gold watch, have a nice life with a pension. You know, a monthly income that lasted until death – sorta like old school marriage.
If you got sick or senile (old school for Alzheimer’s) you lived with one of your children in their assisted living facility. (Although the thought of living with my children is not one that I cherish)
It is shameful, but I am seeking help. Although I have a smart phone, I want to keep my land line until I die, here’s why:
- I’m blind as a bat: I have the biggest, brightest smart phone screen that was available 3 years ago when I bought it, but I still have to hold it at arms length in order to see anything. That makes it really hard to dial.
My land line has lighted buttons.
- I’m losing my memory: Not on the smart phone, but I can never remember to take it with me. If I do remember, then I put it down somewhere and can’t remember where I put it. Then I have to use my land line to dial my cell so that I can find it anyway. Then I have to remember to charge the phone. No can do.
I can follow the cord and find my land line.
- I’m getting senile: I figured out how to download a ringtone onto my smartphone. It plays Reasons by Earth Wind and Fire. When someone calls, I forget that it’s the phone and start dancing. Very embarrassing.
My land line rings (like a phone). I answer it (like Pavlov’s dog salivating.)
I know, I know that I need help, but I just can’t do it alone.
Artwork by Saundra Johnson. Visit Rodeo Market Gallery to purchase.